Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Back To The Future Party

Chris's 31st Birthday Party and Back to the Future Decor! I found a Spotify BTTF playlist and had pizzas and chips. Such fun making it and loved our friends who dressed up!

We had folks who dressed 50's and western. I dressed as Jennifer Parker, husband as Doc Brown. One of our best friends came as Marty! A great, great time!

Painted a dollar store tablecloth to show the "flames" the car makes

I had a deloran cut out leftover so it framed out the mirror with the license plate!

Clocks and signs!

Each chair had quotes from the movie tied to them. 

The 3rd movie corner... map of hill valley, wanted poster, dynamite, gun, frisbee pan, and pics. 

Found atop Doc's mantle.... 

The hands fell off the clock- oh well... here's doc hanging from the "clock tower"

Window covering, Enchantment Under the Sea Dance!

Props collage on the coffee table. 

More views of the props.


More props on the coffee table!

The dumbest looking damn shark you will ever see. I tried making the 3D shark from the 2nd movie coming out of the corner. I kinda, sorta... totally failed. Ah well. 

An awesome vinyl type sign from Amazon. This will reside in Chris's man-cave garage!

Flying cards hanging from the chandelier. Just found these online and cut out, double sided. The delorean, taxi, red car, welcome sign, and police car. 

Cafe 80's leading into the kitchen and the ridiculous shark.

Newspaper articles, framed time clock and flux capacitor, Marty's skateboard, plutonium case, the video camera... and of course the old TV showing the SAME episode of the Honeymooners mentioned in the first movie. 

Homemade Hoverboard using a clearance boogie board and colored duct tapes. 
The flags that Doc sends down to Marty while Biff is chasing him, the hoverboard, and some misc... BTTF signs.

Before the trash bag was added.... "FUEL" for the Mr. Fusion

These didn't turn out how I wanted, but tasted delicious nonetheless. They were supposed to semi-resemble the pizzas in BTTFII - half pepperoni and half green pepper. Oh well. If ever you need an AMAZING recipe for sugar cookies and icing... I can guarantee this is one of the best you will every have.

The "Birthday Cake" - I absolutely hate doing cakes. I obviously, am not very good on piping or details. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

That happened.

I looked at a link on Facebook today... one that I thought really, truly wouldn't bother me. 

I've seen tons of surprise baby announcements.

But today, this one: (which by the way, congrats to them... it's adorable.)

Really. Really. Really. 

...............bothered me.

Like -  tears hit my eyes before I could even process it.

Look at the happiness. The surprise. The love. 

I'm never getting that, I am?

Not even me. No, forget me.

CHRIS is never getting that... is he?

I'm mad and sad and frustrated.

Are we ready? I don't know.

Is it my fault? Maybe.

It it fair? No. It's absolutely not.

and today... I'm not okay with that.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Bam Bam

It's been a very long time since I have written, but today, I needed to write. I needed to write to my grandmother. My heart is grieving.

I keep having to remind myself…. She’s gone. I woke up multiple times in the middle of the night and each time I had to say “she’s gone” several times. It doesn’t seem real. I watched her breathe her last breaths and still… I expect that she will ‘get better’ and get to come home.

Well, I guess she did… just not in this life.

I find my mind racing with memories and thoughts of her. My Bam Bam, Perky, Bambi, Perkita. My heart breaks every time I think of you. How can this be? I’ve been so fortunate to have such incredible grandparents. But you. You felt like home. I know we never know, even when signs are there. I think back to your birthday just a few months ago, last Christmas. Do I wish I had known it would be your last? When I left your room last Thursday, not really getting to say goodbye (because you were asleep) I wish I had known. I wish I had known Sunday evening when mom asked if I wanted to ride with her and Sharon. I wish I had known.

Did you know I was there? Do you understand and forgive me? Did you know how much I love you and how very much you meant to me? I hope so. When they told me to say goodbye, did you hear me? When all I could get out was “thank you” and I love you… did you know I was thanking you for a lifetime of happiness? Did you know I was thanking you for all you ever were to me and so many others? Thank you is all I could say. Thank you are the only words that felt right.

Are you home now? Even when we believe in heaven and all our Good Lord tells us, it’s hard to remember. There are always what ifs. Are you happy and pain free? Are you young forever and rejoicing? Were you greeted by Paw Paw and your parents? Have you met the babies that mom lost, or Sharon, or even you? Have you met our incredible Jesus? I pray you were no longer afraid. I pray that you hold me close, because I am breaking.

I realized I quit praying like I should have weeks leading up to the night you passed away. I think part of me thought I could delay the inevitable. Maybe part of me didn’t want to give that chance- maybe there would be more days. Maybe you were going to bounce back. I prayed for you Sunday night though. For mercy and healing—in whatever form that may be. I knew, I think… deep down. Subconsciously… it was the end. I sometimes wonder if things do happen for reasons. Was there a reason that your kids were there for Paw Paw, the night he died. All four of your kids… and me? Was there the same reason it happened that way in the early morning hours on Monday… with you? I prayed many times I would be there…and I was.

I keep hoping you will appear to me. Tell me everything is okay. I keep hoping you will come to me in a dream or God will send a sign. I pray that my heart and mind are open to every little thing… in case it was sent by you. I hear all the time how people get those. How maybe they were visited by their loved one or sent a bird to give them a sign. I get angry and hurt sometimes when I don’t see those. When I don’t get those. But I must remember to go on faith. I must hope for the day when you greet me with arms outstretched with the biggest smile on your face, throwing your head back in joyous laughter.

You will never be forgotten. I thank you for loving me the way you did and later, loving Chris as you have. Loving him enough to entrust your service in his hands. I hope… and know… he will do just fine. I thank you for all the fudge and chocolate pies… making garlic bread late at night and smelling up the whole house (which always woke up Paw Paw.) I thank you for grilled cheese sandwiches (even as I drove by during high school)--- no one can make them like you did. I thank you for encouraging me and showing me new things. For making Barbie dresses and outfits for me. For showing me that carrots can regrow, so to speak, by putting the tops in mason jar lids with water. For making mud pies with me and playing, feeding my imagination. For being my biggest fan. For attending every recital, show, play, audition, awards ceremony, and more. For teaching me the Lord’s Prayer and singing You Are My Sunshine. For taking care of me when I was sick, cleaning up my messes. For being the coolest grandmother of all my friends. For being welcoming to anyone who entered. Thank you for begging Paw Paw to keep picking me up after school and keeping me for so long. For watching Young and the Restless while you ironed, reading to me every day, wrapping my feet and hands so tightly in ziplock baggies just so I could play in the melting snow for a few minutes. For reciting “Anna Mae” at bath time, being silly and loving life. Thank you for loving Paw Paw the way you did. I hope my marriage will be half as good as yours was. Thank you for understanding when I made poor decisions or thought I knew better. Thank you for keeping things from mom sometimes (like when I lost my brand new glasses) and for loving me unconditionally. I will remember my weekly sleepovers and Saturday’s at the mall. I will remember your beautiful yard and hunting Easter Eggs in the back. I remember playing hot or cold, dominoes, and go fish. I remember you getting so angry at that dog in Duck Hunt. I will always remember your laugh. Dying your hair and perms. Washing my hair in the kitchen sink.  I can remember getting my hair done each Saturday night with foam rolls, using a coffee mug of water and Paw Paw’s comb. I cherish driving to church with mom or Paw Paw… and later me. Thank you for that. Thank you for singing loudly to your country songs, dancing and boot-scootin’, and loving Vince Gill. I will always think of you when I hear “Que Sera, Sera.” I still picture you moving those hands and feet… all the time your moved them. I thank you for the times that mom said no, you said yes. I always loved hearing “Mother!” I thank you for understanding, though probably sadly so, when I grew up and had other things I thought more important than staying the night. I thank you for Christmas and holidays. You were and are Christmas to me. I will remember your persistence and stubbornness. Moving furniture, working in your yard, walking to the store. Your love of animals. I hope you were allowed one final stop to see your kitties before leaving us. Whenever football season is here, I will be sure to root for the Manning boys and I’ll watch some cage fighting, Judge Judy, and Jeopardy in your honor from time to time. I still remember the time we saw that movie with Michael J Fox and we left… did they say a bad word or did they show a bare butt? I will always remember how easily embarrassed you got. It was always so funny. How you told me about Paw Paw getting angry with your hilarious answer to “do you have sex?” and how you thought you could get pregnant by watermelon seeds. I remember the stories about your roller skating and Fair Park and flirting with Paw Paw as you walked by. Thank you for hanging up my ugly artwork, especially the misspelled NOEL sign every Christmas.

It’s so bizarre for someone to be here one moment and the next… not. I don’t understand it. As I sat beside you Monday morning, I kept waiting for you to breathe or move. But you didn’t. It’s so sad that people live these live. Are alive in so many people; in their thoughts and hearts and memories… but they are gone. I know I am not the first to feel this hurt nor am I the only one. I know other people probably have pain far worse than this… but in this moment, I feel alone in my grief. I have cried more than I knew I could and I know I have many more days and moments of this. I will miss seeing your beautiful face and hearing your voice. Never again will I call 278-5643. You aren’t there. You’ve always been there. For 30 years of my life, you’ve been there. What do I do now?

You were an angel on this earth. You were incredible, and undeniably… special. You were special to everyone who met you. You were love.

I have so many regrets. Not seeing you enough. Not doing more. Not having a baby before you left us. I always pictured me having a baby and watching you love and dote on it like you did me. I am sorry I was unable to give you that. But it’s easy to do that when you know you will never see that person again. Not in this life, in this world, anyways.

I’m sorry the last few years were so painful for you. Both physically and mentally. I know you have forgiven those who hurt you and your heart was pure and ready for our great God. I pray others can learn to do the same. I hope one day, people who have caused hurt and harm will realize their mistakes. Realize their hurts, and seek forgiveness. I hope they too, can ask forgive. I hope they know you are with them and love them all the same. I hope they chase after God and find the answers they need.

Logically, I always knew this day would come. But I still don’t believe it. I still can’t understand why you are gone. I still can’t fathom not having you here. To call just to check in, to stop by for a glass of tea. To celebrate Christmas with. To share in my joys. I will always look for you, even though I know you are not here.

I will miss you, with my whole heart and my whole soul. I love you Bam Bam.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

2004 to 2014

Celebrating 10 years of "us" this Saturday.

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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Show Us Your Singles : Jennifer

I am so excited to highlight one of our really good friends for this week’s Kelly's Korner linkup: “Show Us Your Singles!” Make sure to check it out on Friday over at Kelly's Blog!

Meet Jennifer:

We were blessed with meeting Jenn when we joined our church back in 2009 in a smaller suburb of Dallas (about 15-20 minutes away). Jennifer has been very active in the church since she was a child. In addition to helping out our youth groups whenever she can, she also serves as a deacon, leads our Sunday School class, volunteers for outreach events such as Rowlett Reindeer and Neighbor to Neighbor, attends the Adult Mission Trip each year, and has served on numerous committees! We would hope that any match for Jenn would hold the same love and hunger to serve for our great Lord and be excited for growth as individuals and a couple through Him.

Jennifer currently works in sales and travels at various times throughout the month. As hard as it is for this Aggie fan to write it, she’s a graduate of the University of Texas and is a die-hard longhorn fan! (Insert Aggie horse laugh here.) She’s never been married and has no children.

Jennifer can often be found at the gym working out, volunteering with organizations such as Habitat for Humanity, going for a tour of a brewery or enjoying a wine tasting, watching Longhorn football, having dinners with friends or playing our monthly Bunco. Oh and she also leads our monthly Book Club (which I forget about a lot… sorry Jenn!) She’s gone skydiving and completed several warrior dashes and never will shy away from a new adventure! Did I mention she is also a black belt?

She’s a great organizer and keeps all of us on track; somehow juggling friends, church, work, family, and much more… like it’s nothing! While it sounds like Jennifer is go-go-go all the time… the perfect person will enjoy a sense of balance (going out and staying in) because sometimes nothing can beat staying home in comfy clothes! She owns her own home and has been busy redoing, remodeling, and revamping inside and out.

She is very close to her family. Family time is extremely important to Jennifer and what a great one she has!

Her most recent joy can be found in her nephew, Trevor (or “Bobbles” as she calls him.) She’s always anxious for baby time! (Pretty sure this lil’ man adores his aunt too!)

Now Jennifer IS tall… so it’d be ideal if you are 6’1” or taller! She has a great smile, an infectious laugh, and ridiculously pretty hair and eyelashes (it’s a girl thing!) Jenn is loyal and will listen to you rant (which for me is often) and always has a way of giving you strong but solid advice. While health conscious, she’s not a fanatic-  I always look forward to our Chili’s dinners or Chipotle girl-time meetups. She’s also a great cook and has some to die for recipes! We’d expect any guy lucky enough to be fun, outgoing, responsible, honest and faithful. (Gotta’ make sure she is taken care of as well as she takes care of all of us!)

….and just because this is my most favorite picture ever… here’s a little proof "she won’t be rushing you to the altar"....


Seriously… she’s just the best!

Friday, January 17, 2014

It's Friday, Friday....

Ahhh.... only 7:30 on a Friday night and I have already eaten dinner, dessert, and am enjoying being bundled up with a cozy blanket, house shoes, a fluffy pup, a glass of champagne, and my computer.

The husband is away for weekend Midwinter camp with the high-schoolers and while I had all these plans to get busy around the house and deep clean and hang up clothes, etc... etc... something about curling up and starting the Harry Potter series, 13 years behind mind you, was much more appealing.

We had a cruddy afternoon, so perhaps that is what did it. Either way, I'm an hour into the first movie and I must say... I might be hooked. Thanks to the internet, I already know bits and pieces of the Potter fandom, but here we go... three days to finish them all. 

It didn't hurt that the War Doctor, John Hurt made his appearance early on and I know David Tennant is still to come. Ahh, everywhere a Doctor went, a Whovian is sure to go. 

....well, back at it. :) 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

WHEN baby makes three?

Another year and another good intention of keeping up with this blog.

...yeah right.

Nonetheless, I'll try. I used to write all the time (back in the days of Xanga and MySpace) and while I never wrote anything "good" per say... they are my thoughts, my days, my life. How neat to look back in a few years and see where we have been.

This year will mark eight years of marriage for this happy couple. Wow. Hard to believe. I feel like the year ahead has much in store for us! We're going to begin the process of 'getting ourselves in order' and preparing to try for a baby.

When I say 'get ourselves in order' I mostly mean that we are going to have a long road of testing and trying ahead. I've got to get my willpower from somewhere and work on my weight issues to manage my PCOS (in addition to many other obvious health related reasons.)

And while I am looking forward to it, I'm also nervous and scared.

I'm a worrier. Just can't help it. I know the coming year might be full of what if's and could be's and everything in between. I know that there is a large chance the answer may simply be "no..." and while I've always prepared myself for that (since I was a teenager) part of me has always kept the hope that everything will go smoothly and work like clockwork.

I  am fearful for what the future testing will hold. Part of me sometimes think that when and if it is time to test Chris.... that maybe some of the burden of not being able to have a child would be lifted, if he too, had his own troubles. It wouldn't be solely my fault. But then again, I don't wish that for him. For us, together of course, or for anyone else (God-forbid anything were to ever happen to me.) It's a sad feeling being the bearer of barren. It's lonely and defeating.

Until we really try (this year) we won't know if the doctor who told me 'never' when I was 14 or the doctor who said 'no problem' at 19 or the countless others in between who said 'maybe' or 'possible' were right. Unfortunately, almost 10 years of pseudo-trying haven't proved to be successful, so I know which answer I am leaning towards right now.

I know we have time (though that grows smaller by the day) and I know we have options... but my goodness! I look at the thousands of women and couples going through the same thing... heartbroken and defeated and know deep down that I'm not alone in this, but it's a scary and lonely feeling either way.

Truth be told I am terrified, beyond all other baby-making-related reasons.

Are we ready?
Can we afford it?
I want the house redone first!
Do we need a better car?
What if....
What if....
What if....

Maybe 2014 will the hold the answers, eh?

Saturday, October 26, 2013

The Huggins Haunts

Well, it's that time of year again... one of our favorites! I'm currently watching Ghostbusters, something I haven't seen in I don't know how long. LOVE IT. Since it IS 12:30... I certainly don't feel like writing much, but I CAN share pictures! We love decorating our house and the yard. Hope you enjoy... just remember, we still have lots and lots to redo in the house. Any wallpaper you may see is not of my choosing.

 Happy Halloween!

I got a call at work from a proud husband... saying he 'planted a tree'

Gettin' started...

Homemade fog machine chiller

First cold spell of the season, doin' it right!

First shot of an almost complete yard... wait... what is?


Too tuckered out from playing with his new pumpkin toy.

Ugh. Me and my failures.