Reflection

2013. Wow. How does time fly so fast? We measure so much of our lives in time... we have deadlines and milestones and often put so much emphasis on the time factor. For me, 2013 brings many things:

• May marks 10 years of being out of high school. 
• September will (hopefully) bring 1 year of not smoking!
• March marks 7 years of marriage with my amazing husband.
• This month marks 4 years since joining our church and February will be 3 years for me as Secretary.
• I'll celebrate my 29th birthday in December... the last time I'll be in my twenties.

...and much more.

Wouldn't it be nice though, to instead of counting the days and months, to count the blessings each of those marks in time signify? I've been having some ups and downs lately in my mood and in life. Nothing major, just happiness and heartbreak.... shock, awe, joy, and worry. Guess those come with the territory of growing up, right? I've felt very reflective, just as I am sure most people do at the start of a new year. I am so unbelievably blessed. So much happens as time passes by. Big and small! Sometimes the smallest things in our everyday lives make us pause... and those are the ones worth holding close.

I loaded up Moondoggie in the car tonight. We had to run a few errands and needed to take Chris to get his truck. Once we dropped him off and started driving back home... I glanced over at him several times. Sometimes that little face was looking at me and sometimes he was looking around at the world passing us by. Don't get me wrong... I know he's "just a dog" and nothing can compare the love I have for him to a child (that love I hope to experience one day soon, too!) But I caught myself, beaming. I adore that little, furry, face. I see it everyday, greeting me when I wake and when I get home. It's a simple pleasure and I thanked God for it in that moment. A lot of times, I forget to do that.

"Life moves pretty fast. If yo don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

(Ferris Bueller)

With that in mind... let's rethink the timeline, above.

• May marks 10 years of learning and making mistakes. Of being humbled and reminded that things don't in fact... go the way you plan and intend. Sometimes life veers on it's own and sometimes you do it to yourself. Friends come and go and we all age, even when we don't notice.
• September will (hopefully) bring 1 year of making a step to better myself. Something I've not done in a very long time. (Maybe ever?) Something I finally proved to myself I could do.
  
• March marks 7 years of love and lessons. Uncertainty and teamwork. Learning about another person and about yourself. Laughing, crying, forgiving, and just...being.
  
• This month marks 4 years since finding a home and extended family. Making new friends and honoring the lives of others. Of praising and questioning, seeking and finding.Growing even when I'm not attending and being missed and encouraged. And February will be 3 years of doing a job I actually love. Serving in my own way, the people... I love. Learning more than I ever thought I would from clerical work- about people, about church and the business of church. About forgiveness and grace.
• In December, I'll celebrate the final year of my second decade in life. I'll celebrate my family and the life they have given me. I'll celebrate every moment that has brought me this far and cherish it. I'll think back on the people I have hurt and the people who have hurt me. I'll remember friends new and old and family both present and estranged. I'll remember teachers- in school and in life... smiles and kindness of strangers. Moments that have taken my breath away and those that made me stop in my tracks.

In saying all that...   I'm thinking about all the things I always imagined I would have accomplished by now, all the things I've given up and given up on. The resolutions that have come and gone and the ones I hope to check off this year. Above everything though- my goal is to make every moment a priority and cherish it. To not dwell on the sadness or the anger or the wrong doing.... but rejoice for the expierence.

I serve an amazing God who is patient with me when I reject His timing and tell Him that I know better than what He has planned. He is understanding when I am angry with Him and question His motives and will. He does not remind me that His heart breaks when I reject Him and go astray but instead, that He is sympathetic and loves me for my faults and welcomes me with open arms, time and time again.

...He reminds me I am blessed and presents opportunities everyday for me to see His glory and magnificent splendor. Most of all, those venues are open for me to praise Him, in all things...

And here we are. A new year. Another year of starting over and remembrance. Another year of making plans- following through or breaking goals. Another year of lessons and life and love. Another year to make things right and better yourself, to live the way God intends and shine His light for others.

I am so blessed. 
I am so glad I have reasons to recognize all the blessings.
I am in awe of my simple little life that is a huge deal to my God.
I am looking to the future with optimism and hope.

....it's going to be a great year.

Playing catch up....

I got so behind! Every day, I kept thinking I needed to catch up and between our internet at home being screwed up and working late for awhile… the days just flew by!

Nonetheless… I’m here now… time to catch up on Day 16 through Day 30.

Day 16: I am thankful for the Fightin’ Texas Aggies. I may not have finished school, but I will forever bleed maroon. I love everything about A&M and of course, our football season this year!

Day 17: I love that I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s. I loved my childhood. The toys, the shows, the nostalgia of it all. I got my cousins’ hand-me-downs, some of which were very 70’s/80’s-esque. 

Day 18: Thankful for mascara. It’s amazing what a little tube and a brush can do. When I don’t feel like going through the entire process of full makeup… I feel a bit better with just a few strokes of mascara.

Day 19: My church home. We’ve had ups and downs this past year or so and granted, I haven’t been coming in many months…. But I am so grateful for the family I have gained at FCC Rowlett.  

Day 20: Grateful for comfort food. Whether it’s a bowl of (my new ‘like’) chicken and dumplings or a scoop of ice cream…. I love that a taste can bring back a memory or make you feel at home.

Day 21: Llamas. Today, I am thankful for llamas. Because, duh… why do I need to explain?

Day 22: Thankful for my car. It may not be everyone’s dream car… but I have transportation to and from work… somewhere to take me where I need to go or want to see. 

Day 23: Today I’m thankful for my home. I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity of this house. I love that I can fix things up and redo and make it my own. I love that it’s OURS and most of all, I am thankful for the simple fact there is a roof over my head…. Unlike so many other people all over.

Day 24: I am thankful for movies and TV. I grew up watching all sorts of classic movies and TV shows. I knew all the old actors and admired the greats. I adored Lucille Ball and idolized Gidget. It’s amazing how you can know every episode of FRIENDS and say the words along with the Breakfast Club. From the 40’s to now, so many of them hold good memories, good feelings, tears of joy and warmth and more!

Day 25: Also thankful for music. Music speaks to my soul. In worship, it’s how I feel closest to God. In everyday life, I can crank up music and escape from the world. I sing the songs in the car and in the shower. Whether it’s Bach or Britney, Johnny Cash or Ja-Rule…. I listen to it all. Music too, holds great memories and warm feelings. I recall rockin’ to the oldies growing up and love it all today.

Day 26: Last week I was working a bit late and glanced out the window. I saw the most gorgeous sunset… a sky full or blues and yellows and pinks. How can that not take your breath away?

Day 27: Silly as it sounds, I am thankful for Pinterest. I’m so glad there is a place to share tips, crafts, recipes and more. I’ve made several things I have seen and enjoy it so much. People are so creative. 

Day 28: Today, I’m thankful for God’s timing. Not only in my own life, but lately… God has been showing Himself to others in just the right time. I am in awe of the miracles He creates… big or small. I hope He always reminds me that I need to let go and trust in Him.

Day 29: Today I’m thankful for pink. And glitter. Or better yet, pink glitter. Seriously, don’t ask me to explain that one.

Day 30: Since tomorrow is the first day of December… today, I am thankful for Christmas. I am thankful for lights and Christmas carols. For nativity scenes and tinsel and trees. Stockings from the mantle, White Christmas on the TV, fire in the fireplace…. The birth of our Savior. Merry Christmas all!

She works hard for the money!

Day 15

Today I am thankful for my job. I'm going on my third year here at the church. Time has flown! I am thankful I can wear jeans and that if I am sick or something is wrong with the car or I need to check on my grandma... everyone understands. I am thankful that even though I have days like these....

They are often overshadowed by days and moments like these:

I am thankful I have work that I (hope) is secure. I am thankful that while we have our trials, it's a good place to work for (and since God is the CEO, I think I have the best boss too.) Seriously, I do love my coworkers. I love the congregation. I enjoy eating with the Seniors at their monthly luncheons and love the calls from my "regulars" who call to check in and chit-chat.

So when maybe I feel like....

I'll just remember my window faces the parking lot and I can see who is coming to the door (which is locked when I am alone)-- and that means I can have office karaoke and a dance party at my desk while working:

What a blessings FCC Rowlett is!

Out with the old...

Day 14

Today I am thankful for indoor plumbing. Seriously... I know it sounds silly... but on these chilly mornings, I am so thankful I can sleepily shuffle to the bathroom and not outside to an outhouse. I'm glad I'm not heating water on the stove for a bath in a tin washtub and I love that my OCD-self can wash my hands as many times as I want. I've heard stories from my parents and grandparents of going out to the outhouse and am so glad I don't have to contend with the weather, critters, the smell, and the deep black hole. I'm grateful I've never had to traipse through the yard to pee, that's all. Amen for modern plumbing!

Day 12 & 13

Oops! I got behind a day!

Day 12

Yesterday I had the privilege of standing in baggage claim with at least a hundred others, welcoming home a man from our church. Jordan was wounded a little over four months ago and to see him walk through that airport was absolutely amazing. When Chris and I joined the church, he was already in the military and I had only met him once, at a Halloween Party. That didn't matter. It was my honor to clap with family, friends, and strangers and welcome this American Hero home. Thank you, Jordan, for your service.

Likewise, since it's Veteran's Day... I am thankful for all vets, past and present. To their families as they wait and pray. I am thankful for those we have lost and those still with us. I am thankful for the people who give up their afternoons to welcome home soldiers at an airport and for so much more.Most of all, I am thankful for these two men... My grandfather and my dad. These are MY favorite veterans!

Day 13

Hard to compete with day 12....  especially with the simple thing I am thankful for today. Nonetheless.... today I am thankful for coffee. On these chilly mornings, all I can think about it a good cup of coffee. Warming, soothing, so so yummy! I can have it plain or flavored.... either way, I'll take it!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Day 11

Today, I am thankful for three things. These are three things that have recently changed in my life and have helped me... for the better. Sonic. E-Cigs. Happy pills.

Sonic drinks. Route 44, to be specific.

 Sure, I have my morning sodas (usually diet now) but I no longer have a couple Route 44 ounce sodas daily. Instead, I pull through once or twice a day and order a $.76 ice water... what a difference! No more sugar, no more damage to my teeth, no more icky carbonation. The water usually tastes so much better and of course, makes me feel... so much better. I am sure my kidneys are breathing sighs of relief.

My E-Cigarettes/Vaping.

 I'm on day 67 since I had my last analog (real cigarette.) I feel so much better. What a blessing these are for so many people. I could talk and talk about how wonderful these are and what an amazing cessation tool vaping can be.  0 mg of nicotine, simply vapor. Savings loads of money. I am thankful for quitting smoking and thankful for everyone who has supported me. I am sure my lungs are breathing a sigh of relief.

Anti-Depressants

 I'm on my third week of my first ever 'happy pills.' The dose just got bumped up and I know it's still early... but in the past couple of days, I have begun to notice a couple subtle changes. (This post also goes hand in hand with thankful, day 8.) I know a lot of people are not all "for" prescriptions of this type... but I do believe depression is an illness. It may not bee warranted.... but it can come on strong and get worse over time. I have hope of freedom with these and eventual counseling. I know my brain is breathing a sigh of relief.

The information highway...

Day 10

Today, I am thankful for technology. How amazing is it to have any question answered at the touch of your fingertips? I am thankful that I can find directions on my phone or look up the age of a classic actor on my laptop. I am thankful that I can keep up with old friends on Facebook and find new recipes and ideas on Pinterest. I can laugh at online videos, listen to music, watch old TV shows and movies. I can call anyone from anywhere. It's absolutely amazing and I can only imagine what the future will bring.

The branches continue.

Day 9

Today I am thankful for the "rest" of my family. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and all of my in-laws. I am thankful even for my estranged family.... because you were all large parts of my life growing up. I pray for you and hope your hearts can change. I am thankful for my Aunt Sharon, Uncle Billy, Cousins Stacy, Kelli, Caleb, Rob, and Todd. I give thanks for my new family... the family I gained when I married Chris. I'd list you all, but Huggins' family.... I think we know that'd take awhile. :o) Each of you has given me guidance and love. Thank you so much for all that you are, all that you do, and all that you continue to be.

An Apple A Day?

Day 8

Today, I am thankful for my health and the "saint" who helps me. I know I need to lose weight and maybe I do have PCOS and acne and psoriasis and allergies... but I'm healthy, overall. Perhaps I wish I could get a breast lift and have my nose reshaped... but there are people out there who are having their breasts removed because of cancer and a baby has been born with a defect and is missing some of its nose. I take it for granted. Instead of going out for a walk and picking the couch instead, I will remember that I am grateful I have the ability to walk. When I don't wear my glasses, I will remember that I at least have the ability to see. When I complain my ears feel full of fluid, I'll remind myself that at least I can hear.

I am thankful too, for Rhonda, who helps me when I am sick and without insurance. Who knows me and understand me, before I even say a symptom! She has been a saving grace for Chris and I countless times... and I will never be able to repay her. What a blessing she is to not only us, but every patient she sees.

My Country Tis' of Thee...

Day 7

Today I am thankful for the country I live in and the men and women who protect it. A country where I can do pretty much whatever I want, without thinking about it. I am free to believe in my God, without persecution. I have the freedom to vote and speak my opinion. Most days, I live without fear or want. It often times, doesn't even cross my mind. We take for granted our lives in comparison to so many out there... who live daily in terror and hunger and need. The men and women who sacrifice themselves for us, everyday.... are to be thanked for that. Past, present, and future. May God bless them and keep them... and may God reign over this nation and our world, keeping it safe, in His hands.